They say Jesus will return like that. Like a thief in the night. By "they", I mean my Christian parents and the folks in the churches I was raised in. It always made it feel like it was a bad thing, like you should be on high alert, lest you get caught doing things you shouldn't be.
It had the feeling of getting sent to the principal's office, or your mom saying, "Wait until your father gets home!"
It felt like fear.
And that fear was designed to keep you in line.
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It was also the title of the first movie in a series of four that I was shown as a child.
The plot:
Patty Meyers wakes up to a radio broadcast announcing the disappearance of millions around the world. The radio announcer suggests this may be the Rapture of the Church spoken of in the Bible. Patty finds that her husband has also disappeared. The U.N. sets up an emergency government system called the United Nations Imperium of Total Emergency (UNITE) and declares anyone who does not receive the Mark of the Beast, identifying them with UNITE, will be arrested.
Several flashbacks occur to times in Patty's life before the rapture. The story begins with three friends who will have different destinies: Patty and her two friends who have different approaches to Christianity. One considers Jesus Christ her savior while the other, Diane, is earthly minded. Patty considers herself a Christian because she occasionally reads her Bible and goes to church regularly. However, her pastor is shown to be an unbeliever. She refuses to believe the warnings of her friends and family that she will go through the Great Tribulation if she does not put her faith in Christ. Meanwhile, her husband, who has been attending another church, has accepted Jesus. The next morning, Patty wakes to find that her husband and millions of others have suddenly disappeared.
Patty is conflicted and refuses to trust Christ yet also refuses to take the mark. She desperately tries to avoid UNITE and the mark but is eventually captured. Patty escapes, but after a chase she is cornered by UNITE on a bridge and falls from the bridge to her death.
Patty wakes up and realizes it has all been a dream. She is relieved, but her relief is short-lived when the radio announces that millions of people have in fact disappeared. Horrified, Patty frantically searches for her husband only to find he is missing too. Patty realizes that the Rapture has actually occurred and she has been left behind.
There are three more in the series, all with similar scare tactics attempting to drive you toward getting saved and being the "right kind of Christian", and to keep you from being "left behind".
The last movie ends with UNITE officers walking a man in a white toga style garment from a jail cell to a bloody guillotine.
I was in grade school when our church school decided to show these movies to everyone, or at least everyone roughly 10 years old and up. If I remember correctly, I was 8, and my sister was maybe 14. I know they scared me, and I know the scared me so much that I couldn't think of anything else for weeks, and then I completely forget it -- every bit of it -- kind of like I was blocking it out intentionally or something.
Chiron in Retrograde
Part of Chiron being in retrograde right now (until December 19), means that past wounds are coming up, and doing the intense, deep inner work is our current mission, but I have to say that this is not what I expected to come up! Past loves, mom and dad issues, perhaps things I did in high school that I don't feel particularly great about, but no...the Universe went for the gusto! The very deeply buried root of my debilitating fear -- feeling unsafe.
What's funny, is that now, at this age, and after all this growth and development, I am not afraid of a rapture, or of being "left behind". To be honest, I was more afraid of that terrible 70's acting!
But, on a serious note, I was actually more afraid of those movies being available on YouTube for the masses to have access to, potentially perpetuating this fear, and planting it into the lives of more generations of children. I thought about bringing it up with others I grew up with, but then I realized that some of them -- maybe all of them -- may still believe this rhetoric wholeheartedly. Some may even be glad to learn they are on YouTube so they can indoctrinate their kids with this information, and that is something I refuse to be responsible for. It left me in a place of knowing what the wound that needs to be healed is, but unsure about a line of sight to how to handle it to clear it out.
Can I talk to my parents about how seeing those movies scarred me as a child and how wrong I think it is to indoctrinate children with fear-based religion? Sure, but will it bring closure? Most likely, no. Will they understand the harm in these movies? Unlikely. Will this get me anywhere at all? Probably not.
Can I get on a soapbox and protest movies put out in 1972? Um, sure. But at this point it would probably just draw more attention to a thing that is better forgotten, like poking a hornet nest with a stick. Probably better to leave well enough alone.
So, how do I get closure? How do I heal this wound?
I guess I live in the now.
I guess each time my knee-jerk reaction is to take action based on fear, I stop myself and re-evaluate.
I guess I look at every new situation from multiple angles, until I realize that there is actually nothing to fear, that it is only me trying to stay safe from things I do not know or cannot comprehend, or things that in actuality are not even real.
I guess I have conversations with friends and family and clients when I see them choosing from a place of fear, encouraging them to find a place to choose from freedom instead.
I guess I talk to the ones who are where I am on this matter, embracing our growth.
I guess I put gratitude in place of fear, being thankful for the awareness, and for the ability to grow, learn, change, and have a mind of my own.
What wounds is Chiron bringing up for you to heal? Need some help navigating those waters? I can help. Reiki and Tarot sessions are available.