Thwack!
The sound of this energetic arrow, as it hits me on the broad side of my head
Whatever I was expecting it to look like, it wasn't this
My skull like a sutured wound, being torn apart by gloved hands to allow for more to fit
My entire body vibrating
Like a caffeine high that won't wear off
Sleeplessness despite exhaustion
Connections I wasn't prepared for and don't fully understand
Feelings only partially mine
The remainders belonging to someone else
How did those get in there?
Each thought bringing up a past wound -- a mirror
Each emotion more raw
Abandonment. Betrayal. Rejection. Heartbreak.
All easily covered by my hand-crafted armor...before
Not any longer
Every open cut now exposed to air and sunlight
Every ugly bruise and sore viewable by all
A blatant reminder of past beliefs
Some still not fully released
Why can't I just let go?
Even now, my stubborn nature refuses to stop fighting
Manifesting what I truly want
Calling forth what I have long desired but never had
Believing with my entire body mind and soul that I shall have it
Knowing I will do whatever it takes
Knowing that a warrior doesn't stop fighting
Just because she is wounded
Knowing sometimes the fight looks like silently, staunchly standing her ground
Until the rest of the world aligns
Each breath affirming my intuitions
Each mantra holding my focus
Each day one closer to bliss
Jeanette Micallef - copyright 2021